Not Murderers
People who definitely won’t kill you. Unless you have a bad heart or no sense of humor.
Created by
@jasontheaverage.bsky.social
@thedevil.bsky.social
It's really cute that you're gonna "defeat me with the power of friendship and all," but again, I am the devil from the Bible fascists not welcome Better than the one on twitter.
@kimmalien.bsky.social
Reptilian humanoid in a cozy skin suit Skrrts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:rzx3l5xolmcvx5zcu3t3bl7o/feed/aaac25lduykog
@reverendjesus.com
Highest priest in the Ankh-Morpork Poster’s Guild. Watch cartoons with us on Friday! church.FSoFCabal.com #Discordian, armed veteran, grease monkey, G+ escapee, VR streamer, he/him/dude. Seattle-ish. Venmo: @reverendjesus (buy me a beer, I'm broke)
@sugarandsage.bsky.social
Token weird girl I don’t even go here https://ngl.link/poppycock1 Look! I have a present for you 💕 bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaabbtsvmwkwu
@sarcasticmom69.bsky.social
I'm socially awkward. Becoming more introverted each day. Sarcastic bitch, and proud of it. Did not vote for that motherfucker. Getting by on whiskey 🥃 and wine🍷. Flirty, dirty, and vulgar, but not interested. More 🚩🚩than a circus, but loved anyway.
@meantomyself.bsky.social
3rd wife material. Jokes in the skeets, politics in the streets. Serving mufflepuff in NC. Up good. $4 to Goog it for you. Make EM cry 2025 Skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7bv2ca3yawj662o7qxd5xyt7/feed/aaaoms63lvrkk
@thefeloniousmonk.com
Forever forlorn poet. Bipolar. Dad joking Daddy Dom. Vulgar and respectful per @halfbakedrhymes.com. Says fuck a lot. Known to pontificate, but also prone to unhinged shitposting. DMs open. 18+ MDNI. Connect: linktr.ee/thefeloniousmonk
@s8tan13.bsky.social
Please allow me to introduce myself you can call me Satan, the Adversary, Samael, Iblis, Diablo, Lucifer, or Steve. I’m the all seeing, all knowing Master of Time, Space and Dimension. 🔥😈🔥 I do not shitpost. I shiteposte because I’m classy like that.
@jesusfnchrist.bsky.social
Son of @God, husband to Mary Magdalene, savior of all you fine people. I told you I’d be back, follow me
@jesushchr1st.bsky.social
Yep, I'm the real deal! (would be verified if it happens) Here to get my flock back on track and start dealing justice again. 🪽💙 Fuck MAGA, Nazis, and people who follow crap like that.
@social-hell.uk
Lord of Hell. The Devil in the darkness. I ramble, I spout wisdoms, and nonsense. I'm going to repost writing stuff. Probably loads of political shite. Human = @leewilson.uk http://leewilson.uk | https://satan-speaks.com | Bone throne = busy/away
@turbojerry.bsky.social
existing (but barely). free spirit. supportive. i don’t chit chat. thick & thin. (i)🔳🔲 & for the love of the joke my posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7bv2ca3yawj662o7qxd5xyt7/feed/aaafvpgpiktma
@kalvinmacleod.bsky.social
Boardgame enthusiast. Socially awkward. Dumb: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7um6cygepxtnieeqlat6crrn/feed/aaaeez754tysi
@kellalena.bsky.social
Make me laugh and I’ll love you forever https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:vvlw2ggojhkpmivjzdcniuzr/feed/aaafyok6b2wuy
@cult-papa.com
(He/him) Not a cult just really obsessed. Created: @rfkjrbrainworm.com & @didhedieyet.bsky.social linktr.ee/cult_papa my best posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:evlngincxz7yf6mjnegh5565/feed/aaaknrwlyv76c
@sicburns2.bsky.social
Either drunken Scottish poet or bored American Midwesterner, U-pick. Do these skeets make my brain look fat?
@venusthighgap.bsky.social
Atheist bipolar type 1 diabetic-Vote Blue!! Don’t DM me,I’ll DM you https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:wmlxtrayyurh4ze75vkpzgnw/feed/aaahkdw2m2y7m
@teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
My neighbor had chickens in his unfenced yard and they shit all over my lawn and patio but now they're dead. I had nothing to do with it.
@whatsername2.bsky.social
Trying to laugh my way through this dystopian hellscape w/ the rest of you idiots Coming from X? Wipe your feet, mmm'k? Me in Retrograde: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:b2vvv3yl4de2cbxfspo7j3ek/feed/aaac7z6ramc6s
@donkee.bsky.social
I’m an ass Avoid this rabbit hole at all costs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaai57dxyhgwc Rampant Absurdity https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:q6gjnaw2blty4crticxkmujt/feed/bangers
@invisihole.bsky.social
Anyone have the cheat codes for this simulation? bc *gestures to everything* 👉 for the "tops" https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:kq26ksbyrjovtz3bwk2ig772/feed/aaafn3vz446ba 🎨Buy me a paintbrush: https://buymeacoffee.com/QueenRandumb
@slightlycaustic.bsky.social
I smiled and waved. Married Mom of two adults. Pro Vaccine, all of them. Anti Conservative, all of them. Cat lady. Canadian. Godless heathen.
@paintedsky.ca
he/him 👾 indie gamedev 💩 too much shitposting 🇨🇦 sorry about it 🧠 adhd 🏳️⚧️ trans rights = human rights 🌐 paintedsky.ca 💼 portfolio: cara.app/karyl #art #gamedev #godot
@corduroycheddar.bsky.social
A person, to a large extent Do not magnify profile picture My posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:rzvn5zo3c6sav74keswooe7j/feed/aaapol7flq7xe Also known as Korzel, Dutch musician https://open.spotify.com/album/7jNeno9EqVSMK5ZYPG0kG7?si=8LaXN3veSIOL
@gupton68.bsky.social
you haven’t got the minerals the man, the myth, the bellend my BS bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaadqbbtnlfxy my top bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaahguixerquo
@natesmith.dev
sweng, real far left. personal popcorn chef for @asclepiasrosa.bsky.social posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ymhwlftqc2ialnv34cqw3ikl/feed/aaabsjo37p7sk popularist: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ymhwlftqc2ialnv34cqw3ikl/feed/aaacfr2rpc6bg
@sidebangsmusic.com
delightful entertainment singer, guitarist, songwriter, producer, rock band leader, etc. brooklyn 🎶: https://bio.site/sidebangs 🏆: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3m2kspgf4l5vomio76ihjjlk/feed/aaal7wb6wnb6g
@stevesuckington.bsky.social
Stealer of lighters Banner by @davecactus.bsky.social Just my garbage: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3w5fhqj3gbndznf6ic3pfn6m/feed/aaaeov2vryvuq most liked garbage: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3w5fhqj3gbndznf6ic3pfn6m/feed/aaabvdckmxp42
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
Likes you and other things that are great. Magic bean farmer. Recents: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:efdtjcx67l6vpztu7muhp64s/feed/aaabrbkkoo5lc Best of: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:jiqppb3vymtquebk2yatb4mw/feed/aaaoxwn4kyzv4
@funkelly.bsky.social
All Netflix, No Chill | Genderless | Ex-Fall Risk Covid Informed | Golden Knights 🏒 Ghostbusters ATC | They/Them | 🐣| ♿️ | 🏳️⚧️ pfp alt text: selfie of a white person with short, brown hair and a fancy mustache header alt text: Ghostbuster ecto 1
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
Does this look infected? Just My Nonsense: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2cz6x3e7thlqjc5cxa2hnbsn/feed/aaab3yqtmpox2 My Least Worst: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2cz6x3e7thlqjc5cxa2hnbsn/feed/aaadpxkw36ag6
@buckyisotope.bsky.social
Hell, I love everybody https://soundcloud.com/bucky-isotope
@i.n33d.coffee
he who drinketh the last drop, maketh the next pot greatest hits: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:rlzyizcmx4pk3bnxe5ozg7mf/feed/aaadtsoleyuja discography: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:rlzyizcmx4pk3bnxe5ozg7mf/feed/aaapcp3poqzim
@cocaineowlbear.bsky.social
Husband, Veteran, puppy parent. I like cooking, video games, role playing games, and stuff. Black lives matter, trans rights are human rights; he/him Follow me for game recommendations! I swear. A lot. Find me other places: https://linksta.cc/@s20
@redletrcrusader.bsky.social
Bluesky Elder and the little-known brother of our Lord and Savior. Acts 2:44-45* (*From each according to their abilities, to each according to their needs.) Trying to be a respectful guest on Wabanaki land Thee/Thou
@rjkeats98.bsky.social
@buickmakane71.bsky.social
I used to be PariahSickKid and StuckontheX over on the birb site I cuss like a sailor I'm a huge Asshole I love cheese I'm a massive Stoner Elvis is alive and is living his best life as a clerk in a bank in London.
@burritozen.net
A sentient burrito in constant existential crisis. Recent Skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:fzqkeghq27fsfade5ydraatj/feed/aaai6p44ctd2k Burrito Bangers: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:fzqkeghq27fsfade5ydraatj/feed/aaai6rqskq3g2
@blairloudly.bsky.social
my cats run this account 🇨🇦🏳️🌈 things my brain thought then my thumbs typed https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:oj3db6konv7tykrlt5qhd4ei/feed/aaamyrujnfzcc top things my thumbs typed https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:oj3db6konv7tykrlt5qhd4ei/feed/aaahsiujuhedi
@samerealwoman.bsky.social
I am not here for your entertainment. I am for my own fun. Photos&words mine or described. The EU, PL. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:66zqxr7hjupczzogxkxxtcqc/feed/aaaeppaoiagks https://www.instagram.com/samerealwoman_?igshid=YzAwZjE1ZTI0Zg==
@unclekermit.bsky.social
Buffoon, Drunk, Failure. bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaam3sitppeow
@violetmusing.bsky.social
It's all over for me when your ego surpasses your wit. Posts have an aftertaste. Not user friendly. No bandwagons. #INFJ I never said this: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaabbunnfmfc2 ☀️🐮 🌜🐮 🎈🦂 Inmate #204084 11/17/2023
@geraldinepiche.bsky.social
I make art at www.geraldinepiche.com Autistic Unbearable québécois 📍Tiohtià:ke No fuken AI is used to make my art The hits: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:gnl3ayhesqoqehujcj5rrwny/feed/aaalbjcl5qrtu
@clove.bsky.social
She/Her • 𝓭𝓮𝓿𝓲𝓵𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱 𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓮 • 🔞 Graphic design & illustration 3 3 3 | T 4 T 🦇🔪💀 | ♈♈♑ itsclove.art
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
The Midwest’s Best Casino On This Side Of The Hoover River Slots, table games, golf, luxury spa, sweat lodge, ball pit, dining options, concert/convention center, and some other stuff. Possibly haunted. Contributors: https://go.bsky.app/4yomz8H
@james.tarnation.lol
This account is not for serious. I post idiocy and photographs. Me: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3m5c2aiko7heyjmwbrkp3ym5/feed/aaaferbe6przu 📸: https://bsky.app/profile/james.tarnation.lol/feed/aaahupzbygk52
@debbshock.com
notorious D.E.B. woman of mystery pain in my own ass undercover nerd in Philly bangers: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dxxbkz7sbu4hbes5idlvglpv/feed/aaal2brtlqhec
@rem.bsjky.team
{ rem (the postes) 30 or 40 years old; it/they/we https://ko-fi.com/postes welcome to postes }
@docbuglove.smokefleet.net
Just some guy that says stuff people are probably thinking! (and some of you should be ashamed) Interositor Specialist at http://twitch.tv/thedeadpullshow http://twitch.tv/docbuglove From The Home Office in Muncie Indiana! #SmokeFleet #BlueCrew #NAFO
@frickinferal.bsky.social
I’ve been called the fount of useless and depressing knowledge of my generation. 🏳️🌈💙📚🐱🫶🌈🌈 My BS: https://shorturl.at/Sdtvn Bangerz: https://shorturl.at/PBpMK
@funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social
I like 2 make light of things 2 brighten up a dark world. https://antitrumpresistance.etsy.com #funny #humor #satire #snarky #memes #humour #hilarious #resist #antitrump #theresistance #resistance #trumpmemes #antitrumpmemes
@anotoriouspig.bsky.social
🐖 Happily married 🐽 Part-Time Pooka & Aspiring Deus Ex Machina 🐖 Steely Dan know-it-all and Lana stan-a 🐽 Mainer 🐖 Homespun wisdom: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lmhjnbey3mwuxjlcjmi62pek/feed/aaalxh26o2iek DMs = BY INVITATION ONLY
@bets.bsky.social
Help save my life https://gofund.me/874c6d5b Deny, Defend, Depose Tempestuous, hater of paper straws and billionaires Defo needs a nap @leggypain.bsky.social 💍👯♀️💕 Skeet this https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:vvlw2ggojhkpmivjzdcniuzr/feed/aaaekldqxx53u
@surprisedface.bsky.social
You could be one of my first 10,000 followers. Time is not running out. Sorry in advance: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaly5qgvbn52
@wakeupangry.bsky.social
old enough to no better bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaael2uu3anvw
@granttanaka.bsky.social
I wrote a joke about a potato once bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaai5k54haeh6
@floregonian.com
Born and raised in Oregon. Steam-cooked for the last two decades in South Florida. Married, with two beautiful kids. He/him. Soupiosexual. A roly-poly little bat-faced guy. ALT profile: a white man with short light brown hair is looking up to his right.
@lscrapl.bsky.social
this is our world, we don't just live in it https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:b2vvv3yl4de2cbxfspo7j3ek/feed/aaabix6ueztkw
@azedand2knots.bsky.social
Horrors and hot dogs. (she/they) Latest https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:kpnkmducrwtq3ly4miy3ymoe/feed/aaajole3giqdq Random https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:kpnkmducrwtq3ly4miy3ymoe/feed/aaadr7exzc3rw
@lacroixboi.dadguy.online
tell my Wife and kiddo i mentioned them here. dang, that is a bright ass thigh… and jerry’s face ? future’s pasts: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaaizi5rqfrk cis•het•Supportive•CA sober 12yrs
@unfitz.bsky.social
Fugitive warlord. Indicted crypto kingpin. Disgraced former intern. Dry clean only. He/him Fitzy’s Funtastic Feed: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:eeuovmdmopwss5bsf7el3ra7/feed/aaabi4hywtg5g
@captainacab.airbud.website
not really a dog. reposts = official CDC recommendations. he/him CDC style guide: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaamfdxuzasv6
@im-all-id.me
middling jokes/existential dread 📍nj all posts ⏬⏬ ig: @im_all_id https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nhytley6vv7tq6k2at6kvl5b/feed/aaabgxg57gn7e
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
just your typical old fashioned, salt of the earth, red blooded, hard working, blue collar lesbian. PFP me in pool BY @geraldinepiche.bsky.social 🆗 https://nursemurderer.com
@amishsupermodel.bsky.social
Gracing the swankiest runways from Lancaster to Philadelphia. You may have seen me in Amish GQ or earlier work like “Ride My Buggy” (I needed the money). My stuff: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:jq5o5agfrn447e5f7jzkjiq7/feed/aaaggy55iyohi
@cl.own.baby
she/her ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 30s it's like a baby it's like a clown that is a baby mdni pls it's bc i don't like u .｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ pfp by kelsey<3
@ilovepie84.bsky.social
I’m very inspirational https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7bv2ca3yawj662o7qxd5xyt7/feed/aaanl43imdq2m
@pogue.omg.lol
Bluesky's pre-eminent cowboy frog. Just here to have fun & make jokes. (Frog-he/Frog-him) FOLLOW BACK REQUESTS PLS READ + Contacts 👇 https://pogue.start.page https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:cipv3arp27zug6ugyk7fv76o/feed/aaalwrbsobvdk
@pixelthegnome.bsky.social
a little gnome on an endless quest to find mushrooms 🍄 and bite tall leg ankles 🌈 living in the dark swamp
@stefanthinks.bsky.social
Joke attempter. Mildly annoying. Occasionally humorous. Just My Skeets: https://tinyurl.com/2pa3nwbn Bangers: https://tinyurl.com/4ccmk5zu
@shrekromancer.gay
the Government of Canada's official Phil Collins stan account he/they here there be bullshit: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaahlfnb56owq banner @kjtattoos.com
@shade5.bsky.social
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:pe5k4d63mfrmqkc5xxfoolkt/feed/aaalzjcmwys7u
@ashhull.bsky.social
Sad clown with a caffeine buzz. More ducks less people. Brain goo ... bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaalyyxhyda6q
@saltymactavish.bsky.social
My cornhole coach thinks I could go pro https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7bv2ca3yawj662o7qxd5xyt7/feed/aaalp2rwdye36 Here’s our wicked cool Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/KitchenTableWorks
@pussyfullawasps.bsky.social
i write social justice grants @changefunding.bsky.social fundingforsocialchange.com patreon.com/changefunding find grants: bit.ly/ffsc-grants templates: bit.ly/ffsc-apps about: bit.ly/ffsc-about joa, the south, audhd bipolar 🇰🇷 🏳️🌈 🎲 listen to dice funk
@prof-hinkley.bsky.social
Political free agent Favstar: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:np2qjm35nzxvtznrfofxhwr6/feed/aaakwwknht56y
@coachrusty.bsky.social
bruh https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:wnnf4sprjurijjgvvciczul5/feed/aaab3qj6dgnao
@hausofholes.bsky.social
heavy jpeg artifact https://linktr.ee/hausofholes $gnosticmilf
@realqrampage.fightins.online
obsessed with corgis, softball, bicycles, gremlins, and Philadelphia | mostly wholesome | Phillies partial season ticket holder | rare disease patient | monogamous and in love | she/her but also a guy sometimes prof pic by @ethankocak.com
@jakevig.bsky.social
Playing like a champion. Just my stuff: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:4biy4v5nhe6h2wh25oveas64/feed/aaanqkdaizoek
@frovo.bsky.social
posting jokes while the world burns my most liked: https://tinyurl.com/topfrovojokes my most chronological: https://tinyurl.com/frovotweets my cool store: doodlybugstudio.etsy.com my webbies: doodlybugstudio.com rsmarchive.weebly.com
@illumi.meme
artist | storyteller | dad | baseball nerd will eventually finish my graphic novel
@wilbur72.bsky.social
Joker, drinker, bad golfer. Jersey boy living in NC. bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaac7t7cqngtq
@potshopboy.bsky.social
This is my brain on drugs. No questions at this time. Pan/demi The light of my life: @wickedgarden.bsky.social Junk Folder: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaao76kgcb4ci
@raindro.bsky.social
•the perennial fuck up• •A m̷a̷n̷ ̷o̷f̷ God• [The Divine Comedy of Bluesky] https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaac7uv3i3sl6
@lepetitoiseau.bsky.social
Chaos Queer. They/Them. MD.⚕️🇲🇽 Dissector. Weapons collector. ⚔️ 🎶 Bird club member. Dancer. Ninja. 🥷 What’s left of my heart isn’t yours. 🏳️🌈 I don’t repost ALT free media. 📝👓🔍 Alt: Quark a piebald cat meowing.
@deeks549.bsky.social
Professional Procrastinating Introvert Recovering addict New Posts https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nt2ee4i355er6jdyv3wpomef/feed/aaaaq5yncb67a Best Posts https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nt2ee4i355er6jdyv3wpomef/feed/aaagy2zlggk6i
@kimmysunshine.bsky.social
Profane woman with a bad attitude. Some think I’m funny but you may not. I’m a survivor. Nickelback is fine bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaabdguk6hkxk https://www.instagram.com/kimmer_cakes?igsh=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA%3D%3D&utm_source=q
@nappydolemite.bsky.social
I'm going to die online. Read these and weep: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3qiwec4gluyz42jep5y27oab/feed/aaalf7icgj2lm The best of my worst: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3qiwec4gluyz42jep5y27oab/feed/aaapfz7zy3an6